Cuba pilgrimage: 2 views in a family

Pedro A. Freyre, a Miami attorney and an adjunct instructor at Florida International University, is chairman-elect of FACE, Facts About Cuban Exiles. He wrote this article for The Herald.

To go or not to go, with all due respect to the bard. That dilemma is confronting all Cuban exiles as we face the prospect of Pope John Paul II paying a visit to our native country in January.

In my home, Cuba is never far away. Old Cuban lithographs from the French artist Miahle share wall space with maps of the naval battle of Santiago, in which the American fleet destroyed the Spanish fleet.

My family has a tradition of involvement in Cuban issues. My great-grandfather, Don Carlos De La Torre, was a prominent leader in the fight against the Machado dictatorship and spent time exiled in Miami in the 1930s. My brother Tito fought, then was captured, at the Bay of Pigs. My brother-in-law, Cuco Cervantes, was killed after the Bay of Pigs battle, when he was transported to Havana in a sealed truck. He and eight others suffocated to death. The officer responsible, Osmani Cienfuegos, is now a high Cuban government official in charge of tourism. My father Ernesto negotiated the release of the Bay of Pigs prisoners and went on to become a leading anti-Castro activist until his death in Miami in 1987.

Although I am now a proud citizen of the United States, I have not forgotten my roots, and I have attempted in my own small way to continue my family's tradition of concern for Cuba. I follow developments in Cuba with great interest and I am involved in civic and community activities related to Cuba.

In keeping up with Cuban affairs, I have developed great respect for the work of the Catholic Church in Cuba, which against incredible odds has been carrying out its spiritual mission. I have watched with wonder as a church that was virtually destroyed by persecution in the 1960s has been revitalized in the 1990s and now commands the position of being the only independent public institution in Cuba.

It is in this context that I faced the crucible of whether I should go on the pilgrimage to Cuba sponsored by the Archdiocese of Miami on the occasion of the papal visit. In making my decision, I sought counsel from the two people I admire and respect the most on matters of faith and ethics, Father Jose Conrado Rodriguez and my mother, Concha Rosales de Freyre.

Father Conrado, the humble parish priest who wrote a courageous open letter to Fidel Castro holding him responsible for the moral and physical collapse of Cuba, supported the pilgrimage. ``Imagine what would happen,'' he said, ``if 100,000 Cubans from Miami show up. You have no idea the message of hope and solidarity that would send to the faithful in Cuba.''

My mother, a devout Catholic, saw it differently. ``Hijo mio. My son, I support and obey the pope wherever he may be every day, whether it's Rome or Africa or Cuba, and I believe his visit is a great thing for Cuba. But we were kicked out of our country by that government, and deprived unjustly not only of everything we had but of our very homeland. I will not ask its permission to go back in. I will pray for Cuba, as I do every day, in my church.''

I made my decision after much pondering. I respect the choice of those going on the pilgrimage. And I hope my fellow Cuban exiles who have elected not to go respect the validity and good intentions of those who go.

However, I cannot go, much as I want to see the streets of Havana again after almost 40 years. I will not beg an illegal and immoral government for permission to re-enter my native country. I will wait and I will hope, and I will pray in my own way for the success of the pope's visit, but I will do it from Miami. Until the day that government, like a nightmare, finally comes to an end, I will continue to be an exile.