In many ways, the Hondals are the quintessential Cuban-American family.

Early exiles, Miguel and Rosa Hondal worked hard and raised two sons in the cocoon of southwest Miami-Dade County dotted with Cuban café counters and alive with talk of the lost homeland. Sons Eduardo and Carlos grew up bilingual and bicultural, went to college, became professionals and married Cuban Americans. They are raising children the ``old-fashioned Cuban way'' in a culture of strong, extended family ties.

Their world is a hub of cubanía with all the trimmings of middle-class suburban Americana, as if their slice of Miami-Dade were a Cuban-American island.

``I find it hard to believe I could ever live anywhere else,'' said Eduardo ``Eddie'' Hondal, 33.

In 40 years of exodus after exodus, Cubans like the Hondals have helped shape what is hailed as one of the most successful immigrant stories in America -- a cycle of devastating loss and triumphant rebuilding, multiplied by thousands, that has catapulted Cubans to become the largest, and arguably most successful, ethnic group in Miami-Dade.

But prosperity has come at a price in an increasingly diverse South Florida where other groups feel Cubans ``are taking over'' and not sharing enough of the economic success and political power they have achieved.

The stereotypes abound. Cubans are largely viewed as insular, arrogant about their success, and involved only in their own causes. People strongly voiced these feelings in conversations on ethnic and race relations held by The Herald and in a Herald/NBC 6 survey of attitudes.

African Americans particularly said they feel disenfranchised by Cubans who have transplanted to the region a language and culture they don't understand. Even other Hispanic groups who share the language connection said they feel friction with Cubans because -- at 1 million in number and 60 percent of the Hispanic population -- they overpower the social structure.

Cubans, however, see themselves through more complex lenses, a mix of pride and self-criticism.

Theirs, they say, is a community still evolving, successful yet still suffering the consequences of being uprooted.

``We are here and we love this country and we speak the language and we carry the cultures side by side, but we are still unsettled as to what we are going to do [when Fidel Castro falls],'' said Sandra Gonzalez-Levy, who chairs the civic group Facts About Cuban Exiles (FACE). ``Cubans are in an emotional transition. We are a very young community.''

Attitudes broadening

A significant factor driving the transition: The Cuban community can no longer be spoken of as a single entity, a monolith of thinking and attitudes.

The different waves of immigration following the traditional exile group of the 1960s and the emergence of second and third-generation Cuban Americans with a different American experience from their elders have widened the range of attitudes and opinions.

Take Hondal.

While the stereotype is that Cubans only work on behalf of their group, Hondal serves on a Greater Miami Chamber of Commerce committee to bring economic development to the black community and is working on an FIU program to assist black businesses.

``I have made it a point to keep my Cuban culture strong, but I try to learn about other communities because it's important,'' said Hondal, who is director of alumni affairs at Florida International University.

Most of the time, however, he finds himself surrounded by Cubans.

``There are so many of us Cubans that it's hard not to be with people of your own group,'' Hondal said. ``But that doesn't mean we are trying to avoid anybody.''

He's aware that many other Cubans don't cross ethnic lines.

Other Cubans have criticized him for voting for a candidate who doesn't have a Spanish surname.

``I tell them that's not my Litmus test,'' Hondal said. ``Mine is based on issues.''

Cubans need to work harder at understanding the sentiments of other communities, said Raul Diaz, another Cuban American who has tried to build bridges with the black community.

``People perceive us as arrogant,'' said Diaz, 50. ``It doesn't help when we say that this was a pueblo de campo, a country town, until we came. The African Americans fought for civil rights, equal employment, affirmative action. It was their blood and tears, and we are seen by some people as carpetbaggers.''

Other groups also need to better understand Cubans, Diaz said.

``They need to realize Fidel Castro killed or jailed a lot of relatives of people who are here,'' he said. ``People lost properties, relatives, in most cases, everything. They are hard-working people who have made the best lives they could for their families and who are entrenched in a community that believes, `We've got to take care of our own.' ''

Some in the Cuban community don't feel there are significant problems between Cubans and other groups. They only see isolated cases of disharmony -- such as the snub by Cuban politicians of former Atlanta Mayor Andrew Young and South African President Nelson Mandela for their support of Fidel Castro -- moments some Cubans believe were heightened by media coverage.

``I don't sense any of that,'' Gonzalez-Levy said of ethnic and racial tensions. ``In circles I go around, I deal with all types of people and I don't see that friction. We go to meetings at the Greater Miami Chamber of Commerce, the Beacon Council, and we talk to each other as human beings who come from all walks of life.''

Perceived tension

People who feel tension ``may be saying that because of what they read in papers and see on television,'' Gonzalez-Levy said. ``They don't know much about it, but that's the perception they have.''

Others, however, feel it's time for Cubans to assume a leadership role in bringing more disadvantaged communities along.

``It's very important we don't do what we felt was done to us,'' said Miami-Dade Community College President Eduardo Padron.

In the early days, Cubans like Padron fought hard with the white non-Hispanic power establishment to get Hispanic representation in government.

``We cannot have a healthy community as long as one sector of it is suffering and not sharing in the fruits of progress,'' Padron said. ``It's only a question of fairness, not because I think Cubans have taken anything away from African Americans. From the beginning of exile, those comments were being made and there were some very enlightened African Americans who said, `No, Cubans did not take jobs away from us. Those were jobs we did not have anyway, jobs that we were not given access to.' ''

Sadly, Padron said, ``I don't see enough leaders'' making a commitment to share power and resources with other communities, ``and not enough dialogue going on.''

Some feel part of the problem is that the Cuban community remains most preoccupied with events in Cuba and one goal: the fall of Castro. In this struggle, they feel alone and misunderstood -- without allies in the African American and other Hispanic communities.

``We don't share idols and villains,'' Diaz said. ``Fidel Castro comes to New York and visits Harlem and he is praised and embraced by the black community. And Cubans idolize Jesse Helms for [the anti-embargo law] Helms-Burton and he's not a friend to African Americans.''

Padron doesn't agree.

``The issue of Cuba has nothing to do with prejudices and many of the things that are characteristic of communities that become demographically diverse,'' Padron said. ``If anything, we have misused the issue of Cuba in such a way that we have antagonized a lot of people who otherwise should be our friends. Through our intolerance and our inability to respect freedom of expression, we have sent the wrong message.''

Alejandro Portes, a sociologist at Princeton University, says the divisions among groups in South Florida is not surprising given the different histories and experiences -- even among Hispanics.

`Distance is enormous'

``To try to seek solidarity on the basis of a pan-ethnic label like Hispanics is very frail,'' said Portes, who studies Hispanic communities in Florida and California. ``The distance is enormous. It's not surprising that the attempts to establish alliances with other Spanish-speaking groups, much less African Americans, is difficult. Cubans do not come from a history of labor exploitation and oppression like other groups. They come from a history of political expulsion from their country.''

South Florida's proximity to Cuba and the infusion of a fresh dose of Cuban culture with each new wave of exiles has kept the ``Cubanness'' here strong.

``It's very difficult to renounce being a Cuban,'' said Uva de Aragon, acting director of FIU's Cuban Studies Institute. ``How many people do you know who don't jump into an argument about Cuba? Cubans are still very much caught up in what happens on the island.''

Aragon experiences the strength of culture in her own family.

Her daughter, born in Washington, D.C., and married to a non-Hispanic, feels strongly she and her young son are Cuban-Americans. So do Aragon's sister, who came from Cuba when she was 7 years old, and her sister's 20-year-old son, who has never been to Cuba but dreams of opening a business there.

Even the family's third generation, a 12-year-old grandchild, writes essays about being Cuban.

Quips Aragon: ``Being Cuban is like a virus. It's contagious!''

But to find comfort in your group, Cubans say, doesn't mean you're detached from the minority experience.

``When I walk out of South Florida doors, I am a minority,'' said Hondal, who attends national conferences where there are only a handful of Hispanics. ``I do feel different.''

Herald staff writer Fabiola Santiago can be reached by email at fsantiago@herald.com