July 9th., 1997

Aramis And The Jokes

LA HAVANA, July 5 - Our Aramis is not the French King's legendary Musketeer. Such is just the "noun de guerre" selected by the agent of the Cuban Political Police, who is in charge of "caring" after the Cuban independent journalists. A stocky, medium height, young mulatto man bearing slanted Asian-like eyes. He carries a reputation among the troop of freelance reporters for his collected demeanor, his lordly manners and his somewhat sartorial casual elegance. No one has ever seen him unshaven. But beware, it is not possible for Aramis to claim innocence, or ignorance, about the brawling mob that assaulted Joaquin Torres Alvarez the Havana Press Editor.

Aramis has become a part of the scenery, maybe even a subspecies, of the environment and fauna of our independent journalism. Even when sometimes one of the unwritten rules is broken by a colleague who, and rightly so, would call a Miami radio station and disparage the State Security Musketeer. For any recollection of this kind of incident you may want to talk with "El Gordo" Rivero.

So far, Aramis has been promoted, he has gotten ahead. Currently, he is no longer continuously monitored by Isidro, another team member of the "Villa Maristas World Federation of Wrestling squad." A few months back, and maybe starting a trend, one of those "satanic critters from the abominable independent news agencies," (excuse the name calling but Leon Cotayo, a staff writer with the official communist newspaper Granma, has been giving me some pointers) christened, the inseparable duet, as Heckle and Jekyll the famous cartoon magpies.

Thus was the onset of a new comedic genre known among the independent journalists as; "poking fun at Aramis." Thus, we remained faithful to our national tradition of making fun of anything that moves (or stay still). Some have even elevated jest to be some kind of Cuban national philosophical method, as it was proposed by Jorge Magnach in his important work; "Inquiry of Mockery."

But returning to our story; it is now fashionable among the independent journalists, to compete at making Aramis the target of all sort of jokes of vernacular style. Now the "Musketeer" is sometimes called "the Joaquin Torres mutt," because like him, he is famous by its ubiquity and sudden apparitions. Like him, elegant and cordial, like him, ever growling when it is time to "pick a bone."

To talk about him to Mercedes Moreno, the most "slender" of our independent journalist is the equivalent of risking permanent damage to your liver's health from a "laughter attack." She is as funny, as she is attractive. Maybe that is the reason why the degenerate comedian spends his days pursuing her. Fortunately, the nights are still reserved for Mercedes Spouse.

Recently, Miriam Garcia telephoned her friend at the Cuban Independent News Agency. Omar Rodriguez Saludes, answered the phone pretending to say "Sip" (Hello) but actually mentioning the acronym for the Inter-American Press Society (SIP). That was Miriam's cue. Pretending to be outraged she responded; "Excuse me; I want to speak with Mercedes Moreno, tell her, it is Aramis' wife calling!"

Of course, the agents tapping the phone lines at both ends, recorded both; the laughter and the surprising "My Goodness!" blurted out by Mercedes Moreno. By now, Some sinister report may have reached the desk of Aramis, and is not out of the question that soon, in one of those routine interrogatories we endure, he will ask "the slender," about the meaning of this "close encounter." Mercedes, as she has allegedly done before, would probably reiterate her recommendation for the agent to entertain flying a kite. This, of course, according to the legend.

With all of its epic hardships and fun memories, the saga of the independent journalists is taking shape. It is the story of their greatness and misery. It is now time for the pen not to let the anecdotes to rest solely in our memory.

Meanwhile, from inside Cuba, we continue reporting.

The readers interested in communicating with Manuel David Orrio may address their correspondence to: Requena #8, Apt. 4(interior), entre Carlos III y Lugare~o, Ciudad Habana 10600, Cuba.